The Blame Game

Nic: Ah, crap. She's probably going to yell at me now.

Richard: If it makes you feel any better, it's probably because of something I did.

Why I Don't Believe in God

Nic: I petitioned the internet to make sure you can never start another website anywhere, ever, and the internet said "okay."

Richard: I deleted the internet.

Nic: God deleted you.

...hello?

I suddenly feel very lonely and regret asking God to delete you.

Richard: Apology accepted.

Nic: Richard you're still here!!!

...God never answers my prayers :(

Storm-chasers

Richard: I assume you met no tornadoes.

Nic: Not formally, no. You make it back safe?

Richard: How else would I be talking to you?

Nic: Magic.

Well, did you see any tornadoes?

Richard: Heard some sirens and saw a black man. Though, I'm not sure the two were related.

Nic: In Plano?

Richard: Well, I wasn't quite in Plano yet, but it was still scary.

Nic: The weather or the black man?

Richard: I'll let you decide but I think we both know which one.

Nic: Racist.

Richard: What race is a tornado?

Nic: It depends.

Richard: I think it had a gun.

Lonely by Choice

Richard: I had a funny conversation with one of my co-workers today.

Nic: I wish I had conversations with my co-workers. .

....

Well... no I don't.

Genies and Such

Nic: If you could have a superpower for a day what would you have and what would you use it for?

Richard: My superpower would be to have three wishes and my first wish would be to have infinite wishes.

Nic: .....

Richard: And I'd save my second two wishes for later--don't want to waste them.

Literature for a Woman's Heart

Nic: I just ordered "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith.

Richard: How's that different from the original?

Nic: I'll read it.