Friday someone tried to break into Nic and Richard's workplace. So they decided to help by creating a list of all the things stolen. This list is to be submitted to the police. Once the thieves are captured the return of these items is demanded.
List of items taken from [Employer]:
-Life-sized chocolate dinosaur
-13 banana costumes
-1 stuffed and mounted piranha
-[Boss's] personal MacGyver movie collection
-[Boss]
-Fifth American flag to hang over the entrance to the IT department
-Innocence
-4 pair of rubber underwear
-3 rubber underwear instruction booklets
-1 ficus tree disguise
-gift card to the restaurant of your choice
-32 souls
-the robot
-1 Program chip to block robots evil nature
-Microsoft paint
-1 hand-drawn picture of a monster eating sadness divided by rainbow
-28 employee of the month trophies
-Love
-1 nice pair of jeans
-1 mean pair of jeans
-1 leather mask (bought from leather masters)
-3 posable Spider-man action figures.
-40 lbs. of condoms
-1 subscription to adult friend finder
-assortment of surreal stories authored by [Friend] and Richard
-1 list of steps to asking out a girl
-platinum grille
-3 pair of bronzed testicles
-whipped cream
-56 pencils with erasers
-whip
-1 Ouija board
-Natalie Portman
-stockpile of weapons of mass destruction
-1 copy of "Where the Red Fern Grows"
-1 human heart
-1 custom tailored carrying case for a human heart
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This about sums it up nicely. I think our workplace is safe now...Especially once the chocolate dinosaur is returned.
ReplyDeleteNot the banana costumes! Wasn't tonight your office's opening night of "Peanut Butter Jelly Time: The Musical"?
ReplyDeleteYeah I feel like the Dinosaur was the center piece that tied the whole office together. You can really feel a lack of chocolatey goodness.
ReplyDeleteThey aren't cancelling the play they are just going to paint us yellow and rename it "Surprise Jaundice Attack: The Musical"
ReplyDeleteOpening number: "50 Ways to Love Your Liver".
ReplyDeleteMan, you guys had the most fun workplace ever!
ReplyDeleteYeah but it really went down hill since they took our love, innocence, and souls.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I miss the condoms most, but Richard won't freakin shut up about the bronzed testicals.
Oh so you've seen the show before, eh Couaarlldakisffy?
ReplyDeleteMay I call you Couaarlldakisfyy?
WILL TOO!!
ReplyDelete