Friend: Man, I don't want to do computer stuff anymore, ever.
Nic: What happened?
Friend: I can't for the life of me figure out why some ports I've opened up on our router won't actually show up as open. It's really pissing me off. If you say, "Have you tried turning it off and on again" I'm going to kill you.
Richard: Have you tried turning it off? Leave it off, box it up, poke holes in the box, and look in at the computer through the holes.
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I tried that, but with hookers. Turns out it doesn't make them any less dead.
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